Read Recent Journals
Entered By: Paula
Entry Date: 2013-07-01 12:57:55
Subject: Sense of Being
Message:
 

"I have never been important to anyone.  No one has ever thought I was important.  Not even my mother or father thought I was important."

 I hear those words, and even though we had been talking with each other for over an hour and it is past 10pm, I know that he has hit it.  He has opened up the bank and God is ready to deposit.  After  many words spoken that haven't made much sense, God has sent a huge ray of light onto the issue.  God has revealed a cry of the heart, a need, a hurt.  Only God can do that.  I can't.  I can think it, know it, want to scream it, but ONLY OUR GOD can bring the understanding and cause our hearts to blurt out the words of truth.  ONLY OUR GOD can dig into the depths of our souls and bring up the lack.  ONLY OUR GOD.  I praise Him with my whole heart for that revelation.  Because that revelation can lead that heart to make good choices, that revelation can bring healing and shore up the lack.  That revelation from the True Living God can bring life, restoration, transformation, and fruit.  Praise Him. 

My heart breaks, the tears well up when he says that.  Instantly I think, you have been important to me for almost 8 years.  Instantly God roars in my head that it isn't about me or my love or my lack of love.  Go figure.  Instantly God floods my heart and I feel that pain.  That pain of thinking, maybe knowing, that you weren't what they wanted.  The pain of believing that for most of your life you have not been wanted, needed, desired, or even thought of - whether it was true or not, and unfortunately for this child, it was mostly true.  The pain when you know that that fact - that not being important fact- has made the life choices for you, has driven you down the wrong road, has sucked the life out of your heart and sanity, has made you feel like the biggest loser the world has known.  That pain when you know that that fact - that not being important fact - has welled up inside you every time you walk into a group of people and caused you to compare (clothes, looks, talents, body, etc.), feel rejected, hate, and deny that you are a person created by God.  That pain that makes you feel less than, not enough, not significant, worthless, not important.  Oh if I could hold that little head when it was a baby, when it was just birthed.  If I could let it nurse, feel that mommy skin, feel that safety, let it cry and me respond.  If I could wrap my arms around that body little and let it know that it all will be ok.  But I can't.  I missed that time for that precious boy, and someone else didn't hold that time in high value.

But here is the deal, the life giving deal.  HE didn't miss it.  HE didn't say that he wasn't important.  In fact HE arranged every day to set up importance for this child.  In fact, HE created him, protected him, loved him, and set him in the place that He made for him.  In fact, HE gives him life, sense of being, value, importance, worth, and destiny.  Now for HIM to transfer those facts into this precious boy's heart, mind, soul, spirit.  Now for HIM to bring that restoration, that transformation, that new life.  

Oh God, I stand amazed.  Amazed at your GLORY.  Amazed at your LOVE.  Amazed at your use of such an unclean, unworthy, clay vessel.  Father we ask you to continue to speak your words of life to this precious, precious child - to protect him from the evil one that seeks to consume him.  Praise you for your creation. 

Please pray with us for this one. 

Paula

 

 

Replies to this message
re: Sense of Being  by Mrs. Kellie on Tuesday July 02, 2013




Read Recent Journals

Other messages by Paula
Lenten season  by Paula on Saturday March 04, 2017
re: Justice  by Paula on Saturday March 04, 2017
A smidge of realization  by Paula on Saturday January 21, 2017
re: Tuesday January 17, 2017  by Paula on Thursday January 19, 2017
Rock on God  by Paula on Thursday January 19, 2017
Tuesday January 17, 2017  by Paula on Tuesday January 17, 2017
Tough one  by Paula on Tuesday November 22, 2016
Prayers for Carlitos  by Paula on Friday November 04, 2016
Christmas opportunity!  by Paula on Sunday October 30, 2016
Saturday October 15, 2016  by Paula on Saturday October 15, 2016

See other journal entries

825