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Entered By: Rolman
Entry Date: 2007-06-25 23:21:55
Subject: Rolman's Testimony

Hello everyone, I am Rolman.  I am 16 or 17 years old.  I want you to know something about my life. When I was 3 months old my mother said she did not want me anymore.  So she left with another man.  I had 3 sisters and 2 brothers.  When I was in my mothers womb she wanted to take a pill to abort me, my sister told this to me.   When my sister became pregnant my mother wanted her to drink something to kill her baby.  But my sister did not do this.   Before my mother left with another man,  my father he knew my mother was with another man and they fought.  The other man saw my father fighting with my mother and the man took a machette and cut my father.  They were drinking alcohol.   My father then had to be in bed, and when he was better he killed the other man.  For this my father went to prison.   My brothers tell me this history.  After the police took him to prison we went to the police station.  We stayed for about 2 weeks in the police station, also with INHFA for 2 years.  Then to an orphanage.  For 12 years I lived at the orphanage.   I grew up in the orphanage with friends.   In the orphanage I fought all the time.  I was always in trouble.  I did a lot of bad things.  I want to confess these things to you.  I remember when I was a little guy.  I never could obey the leaders.  In the orphanage,  they made one room for bad guys.  I remember they made us take all of our clothes away, and sleep with no blankets, just sheets.  I remember we did not have underwear, so we took the sheets and we made underwear for ourselves.  We were so cold.  I remember that an older guy that  he could repair tv's and other things.  I remember he got one tv and put it in the bad guys room.  He said it was bad, but it wasn't.  He got a video recorder  and he opened the window and he stole it from the storeroom and put it in our room.  He went to the video rental place and he got very bad movies for us to watch.   It was pornography.  He made us watch.  I remember he did very bad things to us.  And after he said, Rolman, you need to go steal more movies.  So I did.   We stole things and we sold them.  When we were back to the room, we did not bring back the money we made and so he beat me up.  I learned many bad things.  How to steal. In the night when everyone is asleep we went to see the watchmen to see where they were.  I remember they were sleeping.  They had guns. So, when I went to steal, I thought, I do not care if the watchmen kill me.   We went to what we called the store at the orphanage, and we stole food.  Always we stole only food, so that we could eat and the other guys.  We gave food to the guys so that they would not tell on us to the leader.  But I remember one day,  I fought with one guy, and this guy knew that we stole.  So this guy told the leader.  I was disciplined.  But I never could stop stealing.  Sometimes I went to church.  I remember one Sunday in the church when the people were singing, the music made me cry.  I remember the leader saying to me you can come and we will pray for you.  I went for someone to pray for me.  I cried so much and I asked God to forgive me.  I remember this Sunday was beautiful for me.  God touched my heart and He made me cry. I remember it being this way in church, but when it was finished, my friends they said to me, come on, lets go steal, we are hungry, we need to go get food.  I stole again.  I still did not stop.  I remember one night, my friend told me I was in trouble.  I think that whole night, I need to run away.  I remember about 2 oclock in the morning, we had bars on the windows, with all of my strength I tried to push and break them.  The bars fell down.  And I went away.   I went to my sister's house.  I stayed there for 2 weeks.  After that I came to know my brother, Caesar.  He said that I could come to live here where I am now.  But now, I have everything that I need.  I do not steal anymore.  I don't steal from Daddy and Tia, because I think to myself, if I am hungry, I only need to ask for food.  Or if I need something, I will ask.  But sometimes I think bad things.  But I ask God to help me.  And He does.  I think I have changed because before in the big orphanage I did not get love.  I did not have what I needed, I was just a kid.  With moving to a new place, things changed for me. In this place I have my dad and my mom.  They give me what I need.  They give me much love.  When I do bad things, or do not obey,  they talk to me.  In the other place they never talked to me, they just hit me.  For these things I can never understand.  I think it is more better for me when I do bad things that now they talk to me here, and they touch my heart when they talk to me.  Before I go and do another bad thing, I think, that is not good for me.  I have changed.  I know that God has changed me.   He gave me also a new dad and mom.  And they love me so much.
Replies to this message
re: Rolman's Testimony  by Sherry Barnes on Tuesday June 26, 2007
re: Rolman's Testimony  by Melissa on Tuesday June 26, 2007
re: Rolman's Testimony  by Mike Jones on Monday June 25, 2007

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Sunday May 06, 2007  by Rolman on Sunday May 06, 2007
Saturday April 14, 2007  by Rolman on Saturday April 14, 2007

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